Box Office Bust: An Hour of “The Strangers” Begs For Post-Show Refunds.

It’s amazing where you find inspiration. I’ve taken the summer off in favor of world traveling and rock concerts, but Monday night I saw a movie so terrible I pulled the laptop out of the woodwork and dusted off the keys.

I’ve heard men talk of giving themselves “The Stranger,” and as interesting as that sounds, don’t get any preconceptions about the movie. To use my opinion and that of every other of the 12 people in the theatre Monday night as base, you’d derive more pleasure from staying at home and flossing your teeth with razor wire. If only the characters in the movie had been that inventive.

We’ve all seen horror movies and questioned the protagonist’s decisions, but the torrent of irrational thought invoked by the characters played by Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman left you questioning not the personage, but the writer.

To say the film was anti-climatic is no mild understatement, rather the term flat-line comes to mind. One might expect a reasonable amount of suspense in a horror flick, however you might find “The Strangers” to be wholly lacking. The most disquieting moment of the movie came in the first five minutes, where I found myself wondering why Live Tyler could be crying in the presence of a man she clearly loves, who has gone to such lengths to adorn a house with rose petals, candles and wine.

From that moment onward, “the action” was introduced without preface, and maintained its stagnant continuance without progression or purpose. There didn’t seem to be a real plot, or perhaps a vengeful editor cut it out to best another scoundrel, and if that’s the case, a: he did a good job, and b: there must have been another two to three hours of film with alternate scripts to pull from.

The dialogue consisted of grunts and half-muttered phrases; mostly the ever clichéd plea of “Why are you doing this to us?” followed by the autonomous return of “Because you were home.” There are probably more words in this article than are in the film.

The flick was allegedly based on true events, and begins by stating that the extent to which the couple was tortured is not known. If these assertions are true, then we might expect that none of the details are in fact known, and that the writer and director did a sever injustice to the couple who suffered at the hands of three anonymous assailants.

While every episode of Jerry Springer begins with the tagline “An Hour of Your Life You’ll Never Get Back,” at least Jerry is entertaining in its blatant falsity. It’s a good thing they got “A” list actors to play in this film, otherwise it might irreparably damage their careers in the film industry. Thanks to the ticket-taker who suggested this movie over “What Happens in Vegas.”
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Chelsea Schmid,
Media Correspondent, NetWavzRadio.com
Feature Writer,
San Angelo LIVE! Magazine, Good Times of West Texas, Rock on Request Magazine.