Phantom79's blog

Jason Null from Saving Abel, and Brandon Danger, a guitar stringer for the band are probably feeling relieved today. Tuesday Feb. 10th, the District Attorney's Office of Alameda County dropped charges against the two after evidence was shown to the DA's Office of an incident that occured a week prior at a concert at Oracle Arena in Oakland.

Alice and Frank are Bungee-jumping one day. Alice says to Frank, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own Bungee-jumping business in Mexico."

Frank thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy everything they need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.

I decided to post this knowing that there are a few folks here that might profit from being able to Diagnose AAADD on their own..

Phantom.

AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!

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Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.

Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!!

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Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D .. -

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

YOUR PARROT IS DEAD SENOR

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead"

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Senor, that's the one."

"Dang! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."

"Rotten meat? Who the heck fed him rotten meat?"

It's that time of year to take our annual dementia test.

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. It's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.
The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made
your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, '13...13...13...13..'

The fence was to high to see over, but I saw a little pag in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick!

Then they all started shouting, '14...14...14...14..'

Monkeys

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy them at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Just wanted to mention two bands that I've seen perform a few times now. Both bands have a good sound.

The first band is 66seven. They are from a medium sized town in the san francisco bay area called Livermore. 66seven has members from formal local bands of the Livermore area such as Spider Goula, Dead Last and The Fuzz. Influences are Black Sabbath, Type O Negative, Clutch, Metallica, Ministry, and Neurosis. Check out 66seven on myspace http://www.myspace.com/66sevenband

so stupid it is funny!

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone."

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew began to build a house on the empty lot.